i am a mother of two, two grown men now. one is in the land of the free putting out sparks the other is in high rise buildings, connecting sparks. for the past 20 years, my boys were a part of me in the start, living inside my skeleton. growing in time. feeding, washing, hugging, teaching, mothering, loving, being with, a part of, enveloped in, giving and taking, and i was needed for them, they could not be without me, and i without them. i was the bird, they were in my nest.

now… they … are … gone.

these drawings of nests represents both literally and metaphorically the weaving and intermingledness of motherhood. all of my being intersected at so many points in the raising of my boys, so much of me went into them. i only knew how to mother as a mother could be. now they do not need their mother. self-realisation of this is adjusting. i am so proud of my boys, now men. turning into men was inevitable, as we all went from childhood to adulthood. still it moves me, the loss. even the washing up dishes, making lunches, washing clothes, ironing school shirts, all of these activities are gone. i am to adjust, with time, its raw at the moment, this is why these empty nests have appeared and manifested themselves in my drawing, responding to loss through drawing. it is a meditation.

now… they … are … gone.

i am sure these feelings are universal for mothers and fathers. not really discussed. we all need to get on, but we will forever remember them as they were when they were little and having fun on the grass in the paddle pool, blowing bubbles, climbing trees, zooming cars around the carpet, reading stories before bed, changing nappies, sitting in a high chair as we spoon feed them mashed banana, dancing around the living room, these are what bring smiles to our faces.

now… they … are … gone.

me…entering a new phase of life, will now be filled with art, travel and my best man. my motherhood job will never cease but the constant is now less. more time for self-discovery and self-manifestation. who is this artist within? i am forever looking back on my life and relishing in all of the wonderful experiences and am forever thankful for all i have been given. how much is too much? bearing of ones being. this is what art is. it is a real emotion, life affirmations, life journeys, life learning, rawness impacting ones being.

now… they … are … gone.

my empty nest.